Teaching your kids to pray

The older sister (16) is bandaging her toe, when the younger sister (5) comes in the room and says, "Aww. What happened?" The older sister says, "Oh, I have a boo boo, and I am trying to make it better", to which the little one responds, "Have you asked God to make it better yet?".

Wow. Her parents have obviously done something right in modeling prayer for their kids. And Jesus was so right when he said the "Kingdom belongs to such as these."

I am realizing how much my 3 year old daughter is learning about prayer, as well as other values, outside of those times when we do sit down to pray. I realize that she is not only learning "how" to pray, but... when do mommy and daddy pray? What type of conversation with God do we have? What type of things do we bring up in prayer? What occasions are we most likely to bow our heads and pray.

I am reminded of how important it is to be intentional about my life, my habits, my example, and my convictions. I don't think we need to become something we're not, but I do believe God uses our kids to help us evaluate our lives and change what needs to be changed.

How about you? How do you teach your kids to pray? What prayers have you heard from your kids that have touched you?

Daddy's Little Girl

Heard this recently that captured my heart. Maybe the fact that I am the father to a precious little girl had something to do with it.

Someone once told me, "If you raise your daughter telling her she is beautiful, smart, and fun, she will most likely grow up to believe it and have a health view of herself." Wise words. I went on a lunch date with my daughter yesterday and had a great time giving her undivided attention. No TVs, no computers, no baby brother, no books, nothing. Just her and me. When we got home, she wouldn't let me go back to work. As much as she loved the attention.... I loved our time even more. She sure is Daddy's little girl!

Here is the song:

How about you? How do you help your little girl feel like a beautiful princess?

Multitasking

Multitasking: the ability to handle more than one task at the same time.

Is it really?

I was just feeding my 8 month old son his bottle as I started typing a new blog post. I suddenly remembered that he will not be 8 months old for much longer, and soon he will feed himself. I won't get to hold him in my arms and sit there looking at him, as he looks so peaceful, dependent on me, drinking his milk. So I decided to delay the blog for a few minutes until he was done. It was a special moment.

I think multitasking is greed with a different face. We want to do more with the same amount of time, we want to accomplish more with the same resources, we want to handle more than just one or two things at the same time. For what? Efficiency, we tell ourselves. Doing more with less. What a bunch of lies.

Owning a business and having less staff than I'd like to has caused me to take on several tasks at the same time on several occasions. What a shame. The end result typically means multiple tasks done with much left wanting, instead of each task benefiting from my undivided attention.

Watching TV while you eat, instead of sitting at the table with family and/or friends. Typing that email while scanning a document to send to someone else. Writing a blog post while burning your bread on the toaster. Listening to your voicemails while going to the bathroom (perish the thought you would take a few minutes of peace). You know what I am talking about.

Here is what I think. Multitasking: the art of doing several things poorly and heartless at the same time, either because your greedy boss insists on you being more productive, because you don't feel like you do enough, or because somehow you feel better about yourself and what you can accomplish by playing games with your daughter while watching a soccer game on TV.

Do one thing at a time, and do it well.

Do you agree? Do you multitask? Do you feel like you can do several things with as much quality as if you were focused on one thing at a time? Do you ever give your wife/kids undivided attention without performing another task at the same time?

Seeds that last

I had a chance to stop and smell the roses this morning, in the midst of a busy life.

Ended up reading a great article on Michael Hyatt's blog. What struck me the most was the story about this single mother who noticed that wealthy families watched little television but read a whole lot. She then decided to sell her TV and start her children on a habit of reading two library books each week, and writing a report on each one.

Dr. Carlson, on of her children and a renowned professor of Neurosurgery, Oncology, and Plastic Surgery at John Hopkins, and recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom says, "Everything changed when I began to read. I started to see myself as a smart person who could learn everything. The whole world opened up to me."

I know I am not the only one who enters Barnes & Noble or Borders or the Library and realizes I am in the presence of thousands of books containing immeasurable wisdom, centuries of stories and people's lives, that have so much to offer.

That article struck me because like that single mother, I don't want my children idolizing my laptop, or our tv, and forgetting the value of reading. I don't want their birthday request to be a "pink laptop" like Shiloh said the other day, or an iPad (regardless of how cool they are).

Like that mother, I will work hard not only to put books in front of my children. I will recognize that times change, and if a book come sin the form of a Kindle device, then be it. But a book it will be. More than that, I will strive to be a better example.

My children will see me reading more often.

How about you? What do you wish your children did more often? How are you encouraging them and modeling that behavior?

Sleepless Nights anyone?

As our newest child gets used to his bedroom, and starts sleeping more than 5 hours in a row, I cannot wait to kiss sleepless nights goodbye.

I can't remember the last time I got 7 hours of sleep in a row without having to wake up to take them to the potty, or singing/praying nightmares away, or to put the pacifier back in their mouth.

Regardless of all the warning I was given no one really told me how tough it would be. The only redeeming value (besides the fact that your kids learn that you are there for them) is, after much talking/discussing with your spouse the best way to handle this as a team, you may be able to come out of it understanding each other better and how important sleep is to each other.

My wife and have tried many thing in this process, one of us taking the hard task of being on call (usually my wife) during the night, fighting, taking turns so the other can get some sleep, letting them "cry it out" causing you to not getting any sleep at all, etc. You name it.

We'll make it through, and we'll get sleep eventusally. In the meantime, I thought it would be interesting to find out different takes on this one.

My question for those of you with kids? How did you do it? Did the mom take on the sleepless nights by herself? Did dad? Did one of the parents end up having to sleep in the guest bedroom sometimes to be able to sleep? How did you make it? What things did you learn about you/our spouse?

Fight together

I read something today at The Generous Wife's blog that echoed something I have thinking and praying about lately.

Do you and/or your spouse/partner have a cause? Something that just burns in your heart? Support his/her passions and invite him/her into yours.

My wife and I have a heart for several things including marriage and family, raising our kids to love God and bless people, orphans, mission work, traveling the world, financial freedom, to name a few. The problem is that being busy, sleepless nights with the baby, stress, deadlines, and all the daily tasks somehow get us dreaming, praying, and wondering about these individually.

This week I have been thinking that I miss dreaming, praying, and planning things together with my wife. It has always brought us together, fueled our bond and admiration with each other. I am not saying I am moving to a different country tomorrow or go on amazing race with my wife, and instead of letting busy work and work itself get in the way, I have decided that we going to sit down and dream together about how we can make a difference in those things and areas that we are passioned about. Not sure what that looks like, but stay tuned. The last couple of times we prayed about and decided to follow our hearts, we ended up moving across the ocean to a completely different country, and most recently ended up leaving my job to start a business, a long lasting dream of ours.

Those are the fun times we journey together across new and scary adventures, but end up discovering a ton about ourselves and trusting God more than ever before.

How about you? What passions, dreams, causes do you have that you can share with your spouse/partner? Or what major steps have you take together in the past that shaped your relationship?

Love Busters.... Part 2

When requests, demands, or manipulating doesn’t get us what we want, we sometimes engage in another destructive behavior - disrespectful judgments.

Disrespectful judgments usually come disguised. Instead of making an outright demand, we present our problem as a weakness in our spouse’s character or personality. We try to "straighten them out" in an effort to get our way.

A disrespectful judgment is when one spouse tries to impose values and/or beliefs on the other, when you try to force your point of view on your partner – and that, let me tell you, is asking for trouble.

How can you know if you're guilty of disrespectful judgments? Ask your wife/husband. Be direct and vulnerable. Here are some questions you might want to ask.

How much/how often do you ever feel like I am trying to straighten you out?

How much/how often do I ever lecture you, instead of discussing things with you in a respectful manner?

How much/how often do I act like my opinion is always superior and more important than yours?

How much/how often do I interrupt you when we are discussing something, or talk so much that I prevent you from having a chance to share your thoughts and feelings?

How much/how often are you afraid to discuss your points of view with me?

How much/how often do you feel like I ridicule your point of view?

That ought to spark a good and honest conversation.

Is it wrong to disagree with your spouse? Absolutely not. The key is to respectfully disagree and listen to the other person’s thoughts and feelings… and perhaps entertaining the possibility that you might change your own mind, instead of just pointing out how wrong your spouse is.

Listen, discuss, listen some more, disagree – if you must – but do it in a respectful way. Give in sometimes. It won’t kill you. Whatever you do, don’t engage in disrespectful judgments.

Do you engage in this behavior? Do you dish some of these out to your spouse at times?